I think often about relationships and trust…. How they affect my daily life and interaction with others.

We are so often affected by our past dealings and mistreatment by others or often by our own poor choices in life that lead us into hurtful outcomes.


Poor choice!

Which brings me to the big question…..does time really heal all wounds?

I think about this a lot as I look back over some of the more hurtful things of my past and ask myself ……”am I healed from that now? After all it has been 10, 15, 20 or more years ago”

My answer is usually the same….no…not “HEALED” ….but it no longer hurts when I think about it.  So what does that mean?  I would suppose it means that “Time heals all hurts???” Yep, for me this is true.  However, if one gets too close to whatever happened again…through revisiting the memory or actually “seeing” the one who hurt you (if you no longer are in contact with them) feelings can resurface. Maybe you simply find yourself observing others in similar hurtful situations, and it seems to raise its ugly head. Once again, you are  “feeling the pain” from what appears to be a past “hurtful” experience.

This can prove to be a very confusing set of circumstances.  I have often been known to actually “speak to it” as though it had a mind of its own with “Go Away! You are not welcome here! That was a long time ago and it is no longer an issue in my life!” Believe it or not, it seems to slink off to find another victim. So long as I turn my attentions on to something else.

So what am I to make of this?  Some would say that I have run from true healing and not allowed the wonderful God I believe in to touch my soul with deep healing and thus true forgiveness. But I say this is not the case at all!  I have most certainly forgiven.  Others would say I am keeping my mind focused on things that are positive and not allowing the distractions of the past to bog me down. I like this thinking…for I truly believe that forgiveness is entirely separate from trust….because to trust again something that has proven to BITE HARD….is simply ignorant and stupid….at least for me.

I can forgive (I know that I have needed and received so much forgiveness for my personal wrongs…..thank GOD); however, I may not EVER trust that person or thing again for the rest of my days.

So to answer the question….Does time really heal all wounds? No.

What does heal the wound, if it is indeed something that can be healed.

I think some things are able to “heal” and others simply “recover,” which is not a bad trade off. So we walk with a slight limp and that’s okay. I heard someone say once that they didn’t completely trust a man unless he walked with a limp.  I don’t know what I think about that, but I surely walk with a limp.

I think perhaps to be “truly healed” from a thing, trust needs to be restored and that takes a lot of time.  It also takes both parties to be actively involved. It involves deep vulnerability, honesty with yourself, and the other person. It also takes humility (true humility) …not the kind you muster up to show how “humble” you are.

There are only a few people in ones life that will ever actually do this….so when you find them, cherish them forever. They are a wonderful treasure. I don’t know what I would do without my trusted friends. They are a treasure beyond measure!


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