Weight loss Journey chapter one hundred.
Okay so as you all know I have been trying to lose weight for the last 10 years now! Since shortly after I met my husband and got really happy! I call it my “happy fat” I always gain weight when I am super happy! HOWEVER, I didn’t plan on having a “late in life” “speedbumb” My now 8 yr. old son! I thought my other two were late in life kids…I have a 25yr old and a 21 yr old. But another baby at 45 was just asking a little too much of this tired old body of mine!
That being said my 25yr old is getting married and I NEEDED to lose weight! An area I must admit defeat in after trying everything from Zumba, which you already read about here! http://barbieknoop.wordpress.com/2010/01/15/my-first-zumba-class/ to P90X, (which you already read about here) http://barbieknoop.wordpress.com/2010/07/22/my-p90x/
Plus everything in between!!!! (and I mean EVERYTHING)
I even tried HCG shots!!! I thought it would just never happen! Well, guess WHAT? It HAS happened! TWELVE YEARS LATER! But it has happened Ladies and Gentlemen!!! The pounds are melting off!!! So I don’t think I will be needing any SPANX for this wedding (which you also read about here!!! LOL)
So as of last week I am 20 Lbs lighter than I was 8 weeks ago. I have now reached my goal!!!
How did I do it? I will give you 5 multiple-choice guesses. Whoever guesses correctly gets a free years subscription to all my opinions!
1) I went out of the country for plastic surgery
2) I tied myself up and never left my house for 8 weeks, only drinking water and eating a small wafer.
3) I tied myself to the treadmill and only stopped to pee every once and a while… and drink water….then pee again. (Considered catheter)
4) Double dosed on diet pills, acquiring the nickname “Chipmunk on vitamins”!
5) Ate six times a day, never felt hungry…and hired an interior designer.
Having trouble guessing the correct one? Well, it’s number 5!!!
If you guessed number 5 you are the lucky winner of all my opinions! (I know, I know, your honored) You will now be so wise…..like me.
Although I did consider the first four, I decided that perhaps I should try something different this time. So I went to see “Marcell” (the interior designer). I asked him….”is it at all realistic to do said job”? He did some number crunching…..asked me the deadline, looked at his calculator once again and then said…..”Yes, we can do it, but your gonna be hating life for a while”. “It means a complete shift in the way your doing things now”. I said “your on” or “I’m on” or whatever…..I’m usually not that gung ho about hating life and stuff, but I do not want to look like “Attila the Hun” for my daughters wedding photos.
So I would have done it even if he said I had to give him my first born child…..well not my “first” born….because she is the one getting married and so that would just make everything pointless…so my second born….but he is bigger than me and could probably resist so maybe….oh never mind. I agreed to hate life for a while.
I even bought the fat lady dress for my daughters wedding (mother of the bride dress). Yesterday I had to have it altered because it is now a couple of sizes too big. It cost me a bazillion dollars! It looks okay….but I still wish I’d bought the cute little black number that I could totally wear now. However, I don’t feel so bad because my poor daughter ended up spending $1000.00 on a wedding dress and alterations only to find the one she “really” wants in a vintage store for $100 bucks! I will learn from her mistakes and will NOT look in any vintage dress shops until AFTER the wedding.
Marcell, (the interior designer) says I need to post “before and after) photos…..I’m sorry, I just can’t bring myself to show how bad it got “before”….I have been such a liar on Facebook! The rule has been, no photo goes on FB until it has been properly photo shopped!
So all my Facebook friends think that I still have the body of my high school cheerleading days….They will now know that I am a phoney and a fraud! BUT! I have turned from my evil ways and am doing things honest now. NO MORE PHOTO SHOP FOR ME! Well….unless I gain my 20 Lbs back…..so they will NEVER know….unless they read my blog….
Okay Okay! Here is a “before and after” photo.
To find out about my interior designer read my future post “HIT FITNESS” that I have not written yet. Then you too can hire him.