My First Zumba class

As I contemplate whether or not to take up Zumba classes regularly….I reflect on what the experience was like.
Upon walking into the class (with my, much more in shape friend Maxine)….we surveyed the room, taking inventory on the other participants there, and I thought to myself….”oh hey” “no problem” “if these old ladies can do this so can I for heavens sake”…..most of the women in the class were older than us. I am sure Max was thinking the same. However as I mentioned before in my status quote….the teacher was this African American woman who I SWEAR looked to be from a tribe in Africa itself, and she was not only beautiful of face and body,…but that woman could MOVE! She literally transported us in a matter of seconds to the bush in Africa… the drumbeat started, and the stomping, and movement began, my heart leapt with excitement! THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT! I thought. The other women easily went into the bush with their fearless African Queen leader. I envisioned a fire pit encircled by all of us women in our headdresses, and wrap around dresses (that somehow do not come undone like the towel after a shower)….I know because I tried it when I got home…..make mental note, towel does not work for substitute African wrap dress. I imagined we were somehow calling on the Gods to bless our hunting efforts, or warring efforts, or something really Nobel and serious. As the African Queen began to move she shook her buttocks in a way I can only remember being able to do while making fun of my Momma when I was about 6 or 7 yrs old… was a sort of “jiggling” motion that involved the Buttocks ONLY….nothing else……OH COME ON NOW!? I’m 51…..I haven’t been able to do that since I can’t remember when…. then she started to beat this imaginary drum to mimic the sound of the music’s drum beat….it was really COOL….I closed my eyes and imagined the whole scene! I was truly in the jungle! Problem was….they had all moved on to the next step as I was drumming my imaginary drum. Feeling a bit silly….I simply continued with the rest of them….as they paid me no mind…..for this I was thankful…..and vowed to get serious with the program….after all, we are doing a sacred war/hunting/something or other Serious thing here! I have had a bit of dance in my background, so I thought I would probably be able to keep up okay…..but I think perhaps it has been so far in my background that it fades into obscurity now, and can no longer be detected, which was evidenced by my performance on the dance floor yesterday. As the class continued to whirl and spin to the African Congobeat…..I quickly concluded that these so-called “old ladies” were in some serious good dance form with their African Queen leader!! I SO WANTED to be an African Queen TOOOOOOO! Or even just a princess….or even just a viable tribeswoman… trying to keep the beat…. I slowly moved from the front of the line, to the very back corner, where I could fade into oblivion and try to “kind of” move to the music, whilst still making my best effort to make Max laugh…… Max hardly noticed me as she was concentrating so deeply (as the rest of the “elderly” women were) on calling on the African Gods too. ….. the crazy movement required for this zumba thing made my boobs literally fly up and slap my face in the front, while my buttocks slapped the back of my head simultaneously…..I didn’t know so much of my body over the years had become so a kin to Jell-O! Hence, my nickname to my Mom….Jell-O-butt …..I wanted to apologize to my Mother profusely, but alas, she has passed on, and now I personally hold the title of “Jell-O-butt”…..of which I am sure she is well pleased, and smiling about, up there somewhere! I am not sure that I enjoy the sight of a buttocks jiggling like that …..even on the firmest of butts…..but I may go again……and try again! What the heck….one does not become an African Queen in just one day right?

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